Illustration for article titled That time I totally screwed up Nibbles Recommends

Hey y’all, since it’s apparently Senior Weak and I ain’t been around much, I figured I might as well join in on the fun. For those of you who don’t know me, GTFAC I’ve been here longer than you anyway, what’s your problem?


Over the [insert timeframe here] I’ve written a few solid gems known as Nibbles Recommends, a not-at-all regular column where I do something and tell you how wrong you are. From enchilada sauce to the Thanksgiving turkey, I’ve helped you all realize that you don’t know what you’re doing in the kitchen - but that’s alright, because I’m here to help.

I’m not here though to talk about the gems you read; I’m here about the gem that never saw the light of day. Unlike Torchy, nobody told me I couldn’t write about it. I just forgot. That gem is Nibbles’ Award Winning Wellfire Chili.


Five different heats: Ancho, Poblano, Jalapeno, Big Jim, Habanero.
Four fruits/vegetables: Fire-roasted tomatoes, sun-dried tomatoes, red onion, green bell pepper.
Three meats: Ground beef, pork sausage, Andouille.
Two Beans: Black, Kidney.
One badass chili.

No pictures, no videos, no bullshitting because I was going to livestream making this and it failed. Then I thought I’d do a writeup and promptly went and did something else. So, here’s the gist:

1 red onion, diced
1 green bell, diced
1 lb ground beef
1/2 lb spicy pork sausage
1/2 lb Andouille sausage
Four fire-roasted tomatoes (or two cans)
Two sun-dried tomatoes cut in strips
3 tbsp ancho chili powder
2 fresh Poblanos, diced
2 fresh Jalapenos, diced
4 roasted Big Jims (NM green chiles), diced
1 Habanero, minced
2 cans black beans
2 cans kidney beans
Tomato juice
Garlic powder, white pepper, oregano, basil, parsley, cilantro, cumin (how the hell did I forget CUMIN?!)


Begin by sauteing the onion and bell over medium-high heat. When the onion is clearing add the ground beef and both sausages to the saute and mix thoroughly. Turn heat to medium-low and continue cooking, stirring occasionally.

While that’s cooking throw all the other ingredients in a big stock pot and add enough tomato juice to cover and then some, about 1/2 inch over. Bring to a low boil then down to simmer. Add 1/2 tbsp garlic powder, 1/2 tbsp cumin, 1 tsp white pepper, 1/2 tbsp basil, 1 tbsp oregano, 1 tbsp parsley, a dash of cilantro. Stir often.


Once the meat is duly browned, you have a decision to make. Throw the whole mix in the stock pot, or strain the grease out. Personal preference. Once you’ve done (or didn’t done) what you were done gonna do and the meats are in the pot, add more tomato juice to achieve desired consistency. I tend to do quite a bit as I like my chili to be just thicker than stew. Less will give you a more hormel-like consistency. Cover and simmer for at least two hours. Taste test, adjust to your liking. A generous splash of lime juice can go a long way.

What you’ve made here is a close contender for my award winning chili. I say close because the actual recipe is a very closely guarded secret (I make it up on the fly each batch lol). This concludes the lost Nibbles Recommends.

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