Okay Oppos settle in and I’ll tell you the story of that time in High School I spent far too much money and ended up with a stripped out, slammed down, fast as fvck, basket case, rotary be-otch of a FC RX7.

Full disclosure: Everything in this story is the unvarnished truth and although it sounds unbelievable and ridiculous, my life is just that exciting. Also, I admit to a lot of stupid, illegal, and totally awesome shit in this story and I’m not looking to get lectured on it so just enjoy the story. (the picture below is not a burnout its just burning oil)

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This was back in the winter of ‘14, I remember it just like it was last year. it was cold as a witches tit and my crew and I were as bored as a 3.o liter sr20det. (ha ha get it) One morning in my Accounting 2 class, my buddy and I were up to our usual game, browsing craigslist for the most whack deals we could find, dreaming up crazy schemes and lusting for sweet sweet hoonage when I found the sketchiest listing I had ever seen, It had all the craigslist cliches, an elaborate story explaining the missing title, “ran when parked” “just needs a battery” and “great project car” but most importantly it had a bitchin street ported, 9000rpm screamer of a 13b and a 5 speed with an LSD in the back. For the low, low price of $500 we couldn’t resist and we were quickly making arrangements with the seller. A week later, the previous owner “mike hauck” (that’s what he told us, we didn’t wanna argue with him we just wanted the car so we didn’t call him out) had the car on a trailer at my workplace and money was changing hands

The car was very unique and very likely stolen so I’ll do my best to go through the whole list of all the things that had been fvcked with.

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Firstly, the interior was totally stripped and a custom dash was wired up with switches for the fuel pump and starter and buttons for the lights and ignition.

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Performance modifications came in the form of koni coilovers in the front and tokicos in the back, sway and strut bars (removed in the picture below) the street port, short throw shifter, stage 2 clutch, headers and a straight pipe.

It had (I shit you not) hot wheels branded 18” wheels (first photo is from the web for comparison)

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that rubbed on the fenders because it was so low. Long story short we were in love. I taught myself to drive stick in the parking lot and headed home with an unregistered, untitled, absolutely unsafe car and it was one of the happiest days of my life. Over the next few months we beat the hell out of that car with track days, learning to drift in empty industrial lots, and racing it against everything we could. This car had more personality and attitude than anything I had experienced before, I’ve never felt more alive that throwing that thing around corners at full opposite lock bouncing off the limiter and deafening my friends. The car taught us how to wrench, how to fix (and how to absolutely not fix) electrical problems and it brought us together. It kept us away from drugs in a town with nothing to do except drugs and it was the best time I had ever had up to that point. But one fateful day when we woke up the car was totally fvcked, no power was getting anywhere in the car and we couldn’t fix it. We tried everything, ripped out and rewired most of the entire harness, checked all the grounds, replaced anything even remotely electrical we could afford, asked electrician friends and even consulted oppo but after 3 months of trying we hated the car, hated each other and were ready to give up. We knew it would be hard to find someone as stupid as us who would buy a no title, non running, POS Mazda and we were ready to take a total loss, but somehow we found some other kids our age who were willing to trade it for a KX250 dirtbike and they would come get the car.

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After a total fiasco involving two flat trailer tires and the car actually falling off the trailer on the highway,

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they were on their way and we were learning to ride a nasty, twitchy, two stroke mule of a bike with no rear brake. Within a week we were pulling sick wheelies and jumping over all kinds of shit in the neighborhood but we agreed we didn’t really have a use for it and we were probably going to end up dead or worse so up on craigslist it went. We traded that for an ‘86 Honda CB 450 Nighthawk which we turned into an absolutely ghetto cafe racer. (picture taken before we riced it out but after we took the mufflers off)

We tore around on that until a totally clueless hipster I met in the waffle house parking lot at 4AM offered to buy the bike. 3 days and some tense negotiations later we had more space in the garage and $2000 cash in our pockets. And that’s the story of how me and my crew made $1500 just for taking shockingly stupid financial risks and hooning around various fun vehicles. I don’t know what happened to any of the vehicles but I would love to know if they ever got that bitch fixed. If you liked this story and want to know what we did with the extra cash lemme know in the comments and I’ll get writing.