I’ve been posting a lot lately about my leaving my terrible soon-to-be former job, because I’m really happy that I’m leaving this job. I just found out that I messed up something stupid and inconsequential, and the best part about all of it is I don’t care at all.

For a few more days at least, I’m the career services director at a tech school. Before I took this job, I worked in IT staffing, so this is in the same general ballpark. Everybody in the interview process was all “oh it’s so rewarding helping the students start new careers,” and talking about how the school partners with employers, and teaches students how to write resumes and prepare for interviews.

What they didn’t tell me at any point in the process was a good percentage of my time spent here would be in the service of creating and maintaining giant mountains of paperwork, that the school had created for itself, is overly complicated, has weird stupid standards about how it is to be completed and maintained, and is audited on a yearly basis where you get told all the new and different ways you fucked up the paperwork.

My very first day on the job, I met with a person who had my same job at another campus, and she gave me this gigantic policy manual and started showing me how to do forms and use their completely broken, worthless, incompetent database. My immediate reaction was, uhhh, maybe I took the wrong job.


Aside from this paperwork, generally speaking, being worthless, I am the absolute worst person in the world to put in a position of being responsible for paperwork, because I’m terrible at paperwork. My backpack in high school and college was a disaster. My entire adult life, I’ve gone out of my way to avoid physical paper as much as possible in my jobs and in managing my personal finances. I suck at managing paperwork, but if it’s in a computer or some other gizmo somewhere, I’m good. This has always worked for me.

So anyway, our yearly audit just happened, and I ran around like an idiot trying to track down all the paperwork that they asked for, and I actually had it. But today they sent back the results of the inspection of the many ways that I fucked up this paperwork. My boss wants me to find out if there’s some explanation for why I fucked up the paperwork so maybe we get in less “trouble” that’s not actually trouble.

I don’t have any good reasons. The only reason is I’m shit at doing paperwork.


So now I’m supposed to write some kind of official response about “sorry for fucking up that paperwork, my bad, won’t happen again.” I’m really struggling to resist my urge to say, “this is all bullshit, I’m out of here next week anyway.” But I have nothing to say beyond “yup, you are correct in describing the ways I fucked up this paperwork, congratulations for finding it.”

My last day is next Wednesday.