Welcome to The Afternoon Dump! It’s just like the Morning Sh*t, but it shows up a little later and is hopefully a lot more solid.
1st Wipe: The expected February slowdown in auto sales is hurting big trucks the most. Except the Ford F-series, which are impervious to everything.
2nd Wipe: On the other end of the market, Audi and Mercedes are doing great, as analysts believe the effects of the GOP tax plan is creating a bumper crop of cash for the wealthy. The only trickle-down here will be from German gasket leaks.
3rd Wipe: Subaru just hit 75 consecutive months of year-over-year sales increases, mainly thanks to a homely little turtle on stilts called the Crosstrek (or XV in the rest of the world, where “Cross” usually just means “angry” and not “cool”).
4th Wipe: 5,000 Koreans freed from inhumane labor camp known as the GM-Daewoo factory.
5th Wipe: The tariff, we don’t like it. Rock the NAFTA, rock the NAFTA.
Flush: Today in 1966, the millionth Mustang triumphantly rolled off the production line sideways into a crowd of onlookers.