We recently leased a car. It’s a 2001 Chevy Tahoe. Unbeknownst to us, our supplier did not get the title to us with the car, as it was stuck in the bureaucratic nightmare of a DMV in Arkansas. Registration renewal time comes around and our hair is on fire because we have no idea where the title is and the car cannot be driven because we can’t get it registered because the title is out-of-state, and the title is out of the state. We call our supplier and he says the Arkansas DMV has a one month backlog and we can’t get the title for three weeks. Livid, the customer starts screaming about how it’s illegal for us to sell her a car when we don’t have the title (incorrect; it’s our car and you’re leasing it), and how we better not give her “some shitty loaner”. During all of this the owners and big boss were in Texas on vacation. Awesome. We put some heads together and roll her into a new deal where she’ll be making the same payments but be driving a different car, and keeps things all nice and legal for the state of Kansas. We gave her the pick of any vehicle on our lot that she wanted, and ended up in a 2004 top-of-the-line Chevrolet Suburban Z71. Leather and power everything. It was, in every sense of the word, better than her Tahoe which she consistently mispronounced as “Tie Ho”.

We get her in the car, get her out the door, pull the Tie Ho around to our secure lockup until we can get a title, and breathe a sigh of relief. For a day.

Next day and Mrs. Tie Ho is back with the Suburban to check on the status of her title, something we have received no information on. She then goes on about how “manly” the Suburban is compared to the Tie Ho and how she wants her “southern gal” back.

I hate people.

I hate them so much.