So the fuckin’ shitstain who bought the fuckin’ thing is a goddamn flipper. The asshole, who told me he’d take good care of it and keep it until the wheels fell off, who I have a break on the price from one Cadillac guy to another, this fuckin’ worthless pile of shit has that car listed for $1,500 more now on CL, with the mileage magically lower. I’m a generous guy oppo, I really am. So when he called me freaking out saying that the armrest was broken and it ruined the interior, screaming at me, saying he wanted all his money back if I didn’t replace it, and instead of telling the handjob to go fuck himself, I decided I’m a nice guy, so I ordered him a replacement. But now he’s trying to fuckin’ make a profit? That rat bastard wants a profit on that fuckin’ car? He’s gonna have to work for it. By the time he’s finally able to offload it, he’ll have wished he never bought it, and fucked someone else over instead. Some fuckin’ news to get on the 41st anniversary of Jimmy Hoffa’s disappearance.

Pictured above: happier times with the caddy.