In no particular order:
1. “Not in a hurry to sell, just testing waters”
A roundabout way of saying no lowballers, but also, if you really aren’t motivated to sell it, then I suggest you not list it for sale.
2. “Mechanic owned”
This is not necessarily a good thing.
3. “Easy fix”
No explanation necessary on my part.
4. “If I don’t sell it I fix it and the price will go up”
I’ll take that bet.
5. “Perfect car, just needs [lists 15 things]”
6. “I am not a mechanic”
The car is fucked but I’m claiming plausible deniability.
7. Always at the very bottom of the ad: “Price is without the wheels, wheels will cost an extra thousand. Canopy also not included. Or seat covers. Or cup holders.”
Either list the car with pictures of the actual state of the car for sale, or, make the price reflect the upper bound, instead of listing a low price on a photo that shows capper, wheels, etc.
8. “Senior owned!”
In high school?