This beer is amazing btw

Fellow PNWers understand the plight of a car that cannot be cleaned... But all you need are some clean microfiber cloths, paper towels, foaming commercial glass cleaner, covered parking, and beer.

“But master....”

... Oh, and an assistant.

It’s simple really: use the paper towels for the glass, the cloths for the body, and the glass cleaner everywhere! EVERYWHERE. Keep flipping the cloths to the clean parts until they’re all used up. Always check your rags to make sure you’re not pulling chunky debrit across your paint. If you only have a couple on hand like me, take back inside and hose them down in the kitchen sink with hot water. Throw them in the dryer and go back to the garage and work on the glass and drink more beer.

And pet the doggo too.

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And hell, clean out the interior, too. Quick run with the vac, some wipes, and it’s almost as good as the day you bought it.

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And now for some before and after photos of the paint.

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“That’s all well and good, but why not just run to a car wash and save a little time?”

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And exit the carwash immediately into the pouring rain? NO. Plus with this strategy, you can drink beer in the comfort of your own garage!

“I—”

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BEER, DAMMIT!

“But it’s too cold!”

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Buy one of these! So nice.

And there you have it. The pearl-metallic car you bought — because beggars can’t be choosers when shopping for a decent Sportcross — will look less neglected. That is, until the next time you drive it in the rain.