Well, gents, I think I’ve finally passed it. The point at which my Galaxie is a less suspect vehicle than my Benz. I wasn’t sure, so I developed a totally scientific table to prove it. An overall index of janky-ness, or the Jankmeter.
Each category is assigned up to 1 point, with an automatic 1 granted for “shit so broke I ain’t driving that”. Actual disabling flaws. Otherwise, a 1 is *extremely extreme*. Bonus points added for “I don’t know, but I got the heebie jeebies” if applicable. Below, the scores for my two potential DDs:
...and there you have it. The Benz is currently halfway to maximum jank, the Ford, less so. Now, to give you a framework on just how extreme each score would have to be to get a “1" other than through total failure.
The Benz has a rotor issue up front causing vibration every time I stop, and the calipers have never been replaced, at hundreds of thousands of miles. Add to this that the rotors are soft chinesium O’Reilly house brand and the pads are a little over half gone. On the other hand, the Ford has drums on a single line system (though mostly refreshed), and has linings of unknown age. Tie at 4: somewhat janky.
Benz has recently begun popping either in steering box or linkage, power steering feels weak. Needs a look, badly. High jank. Galaxie: apart from very stupid suspension design effects on steering and current iffy camber setting possibly due to an accident, pretty straight.
Benz is pretty fresh in terms of parts. On the other hand, swaybar bracket has been broken once, swaybar bushings making some noise, possible creaks. I don’t like it. Galaxie: designed by madmen, parts fresh, a brace installed to remove insanity which is homemade.
Benz has new “steering”links, but unknown condition of rear CVs, unknown LCA bushing condition, and BROKEN SWAY BAR LINK. Galaxie has Ford 9" on solid leaf springs and really fresh-looking blocks o’ rubber. I think we know which one wins this one.
Recently rebuilt Ford
cockroach small block, mechanically simple, no more than 100k miles on any part... vs. Benz (diesel!) 400,000 miles + and suspect turbo, injection pump, vacuum pump... Ford does need new exhaust, though.
Benz has phantom very slow coolant leak, and water pump is a Brazilian years old. Radiator has been replaced recently, but rest of hoses, etc.... Ford has all new rubber and radiator - was recently a “1" due to rad failure. Only gets a “.4" because it got kind of hot in the process.
Benz with intermittent leak and one prior rebuild with initial *very bad* settings vs. Ford auto from before the dawn of time with some leaks and 100,000 miles. Not much good here, but no horror either.
Benz has some things broke. A/C needs work, sunroof tracks are busted, and alarm doesn’t even disarm if you unlock the driver’s door. Ford: most accessories work, but compounded with horrifying lack of accessories in general and the big one: no working wipers, yet.
Benz has tires down to and passing the wear bars. Not good. Some trim damage, shredded paint, but very little *risk* outside the tires. Galaxie on fresh but quite old tires, floor repair needed in two spots.
See above “wipers not working”, but neither car is *bad*, here. Galaxie fuel pump and tank may not be great, Benz likes to have small fuel leaks.
Conclusion: the Galaxie is less mechanically janky than the 300D.
It will be less visually janky as well once I get the new carpet and headliner and apply touch-up to a few spots.
What is your vehicle’s score?