Daddy, is Santa Claus real?

Nope. Sure isn't.

Daddy, where do babies come from?

Sex, a thing that boys and girls do sometimes. Penis + Vagina - Contraception = Baby


Daddy, do people buy those Camry things alot?

...No honey. The world wouldn't do that to us.


The world is a cold place. Sometimes you have to lie to your kids about it. You just do. They're just not old enough to handle the raw truth.