This was tangentially related to the story about Napleton Auto Group sued FCA, because the minivan in question was leased at Napleton Kia in Elgin. I linked it there in a comment, and have been getting more questions and comments about the story, so I thought I would update you all about the whole “sticky” (ewwwww) situation.

Jimmy indeed got divorced from “Satan’s idiot spawn” back in March (I liked that term enough to quote myself). He didn’t actually move out until October, but he is now free at last, free at last! Of course he still has regular contact with her, because kids. As of Jimmy’s move-out date, seven whole months into a 42 month lease, the van had over 10k miles on it, a series of large black scuffs on top of the hood (how did THOSE get there????), and the interior is thoroughly trashed. I’m setting the under/over on damage and mileage overage charges at lease turn-in at $5000.

A couple of personal notes about SIS. She has been spending her free time largely on cat-fishing dudes to try and get money out of them. She also recently took out a $10,000 loan at 31% interest. She showed Jimmy the paperwork. The payoff price for the loan ... $27,000!!!!

The hits just keep on comin’!

For those of you that missed the original story back in March. Enjoy, and be thankful you are smarter than this woman.

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This Friday will be a day of hope for our family. After an incredibly long and drawn out process that has been years in the making, my brother-in-law will finally be divorced from Satan’s idiot spawn. For the purposes of this article, we’ll call him Jimmy. A brief bit of background, his wife gave birth to four children while they were married. The older two were Jimmy’s, I’ll let you figure out the rest from there.

If I knew you personally, I could regale you for hours on end with tales of insanely stupid things she has said or done. If I was writing a book, I could fill an entire chapter with horrible, lame excuses for where she was, when she was really out cheating. This place being about cars, let me communicate how impossibly dumb she is, by telling you about her most recent car purchase.

The financial situation, as you might imagine, is bleak. It is particularly bleak for her. The house will be foreclosed on, she makes crap money, and now she has to support the two younger kids on her own, with everything that entails. She works at a bank, and yet she has racked up credit card after credit card, paying only minimums. As part of the divorce settlement, she got their minivan, a 2008 Toyota Sienna. The Sienna was a year from being paid off, had an additional year of extended warranty, and had nothing wrong with it (except a filthy interior, of course).

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So, what is one with four kids, no money, an impending financial crisis, and only one asset in the world (a reliable and nearly paid-off minivan) to do? Get a new minivan, of course. Saturday night she went out and traded the Sienna in on a new Kia Sedona.

Let me lay out the deal for you, as relayed by Jimmy via text:
- Sticker price of the van, $32k
- Down payment, $0
- Trade-in value of ‘08 Sienna, -$8,900
- Payoff ‘08 Sienna, ~$4800
- Misc. added on fees, $1200 (actual title and license fees in our state are around $250)
- Pre-payed maintenance package, $650
- RUST-PROOFING, $750
- LEASE ACQUISITION FEE, $500
- Lease payment, $355/month for 42 months
- Lease termination fee, $400

You read that right. She bought rust-proofing on a car she was leasing!

When Jimmy (who is in the IDGAF stage) found out she had leased the van, he bluntly asked her, “So, what are you going to do in three years?” He, of course, got no response. She doesn’t think three minutes ahead, let alone three years.