Welcome to The Morning Sh*t! Like it Orlove it.

1st Gear: Google’s Waymo self-driving service ordering thousands of hybrid Pacificas — most likely for the tax benefits of fast depreciation.

2nd Gear: FCA paid UAW to STFU and GBTW.

3rd Gear: VW fires chief lobbyist after company found testing emissions on monkeys. Basically it’s a gesture akin to Hitler firing Goebbels for leaving the toilet seat up.

4th Gear: Bosch claims to know nothing about testing emissions on monkeys. No word from the power tools division.

5th Gear: Anyone who had “Murano CrossCabriolet” at the top of their list of Modern Classics, please step forward to collect your prize.

Reverse: Mazda was founded 98 years ago, which is how long you’ve been explaining to your family and coworkers that they’re a legitimate competitor to Honda, Nissan, and Toyota.