Welcome to The Morning Sh*t ! Grab a new roll, it’s a 10-Wiper.

1st Gear: Ford jumping on compact crossover bandwagon. Apparently there are people in America for whom the Escape is just too much to handle, but they won’t buy a Focus.

2nd Gear: Daimler profits limited by electrification and autonomous tech investment. Or maybe it’s the fact that they build too many different car lines. But we’ll blame the tech.

3rd Gear: FCA didn’t just bring Italian style to America, but also Italian labor union negotiation tactics and bribery skills.

4th Gear: German auto unions striking for big pay raise and short-term 28-hour workweek option. Germany’s Frenchification is nearly complete.

5th Gear: Toyota has its own airbag scandal over minor shorts. If only Michael Jackson were still here, he could remove all those minor shorts.

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Reverse: 120 years ago, Travelers issued the first car insurance policy. Because he was a male smoker in Hartford, Connecticut with a rear-wheel-drive convertible, the rate was astronomical.