Welcome to The Morning Sh*t! Your daily source for car news since the year Imodium A.D.

1st Wipe: GM paying bonuses after making $12.8B in pretax profits last year. And with Trump’s new tax plan, it’ll be…uhh…$17.9B after tax. Sure, why not.

2nd Wipe: Dieselgate prosecutors searching homes of Audi employees. Because every sociopathic software engineer keeps a flash drive with secret emissions code hidden at home as a souvenir.

3rd Wipe: Toyota gained $2.6B from tax cuts alone. Even management can’t explain this sudden acceleration.

4th Wipe: Nissan gunning for the #3 spot in China (after VW and GM). If their strategy is anything like in the US, just put a Rogue on display in a mall and watch the granny panties drop.

5th Wipe: GM salespeople seeing their per-car bonuses reduced due to new incentive program; company still offering free coffee to non-closers, which is nice.

Advertisement

Flush: Honda introduced the Insight in 2009 as a cheaper competitor for Prius. Remember the Insight? No, not that one, the one they brought out later with the same name. No, that’s the GM EV-1. The Insight. Honda. Never mind.