Welcome to The Morning Sh*t! I apologise for the David Spade thing. Those responsible have been sacked.
1st Wipe: Brexit will likely make it unprofitable for most companies to sell cars in the UK. In related news, 2018 happens to be the 50th anniversary of British Leyland’s founding. Just throwing that out there.
2nd Wipe: Some of Tesla’s most important Model 3 tools still stuck in Germany. Chief Tool Elon Musk still stuck in space.
3rd Wipe: The UAW isn’t doing enough about racist intimidation in factories. Threaten to take away retiree healthcare and there’ll be a real Fuhrer.
4th Wipe: Ford says commercial vehicles keeping company profitable. And when they turn a commercial van into a passenger van, it surprisingly doesn’t sell. What is wrong with you people?
5th Wipe: Profit-sharing plans saw great year in 2017, assuming you already belong to a union that negotiated profit sharing ahead of time…in exchange for paying union dues and accepting lower up-front wages. Whatever, taking bonus to go play Powerball now.
Flush: Wilhelm Maybach was born in 1846, but never lived to see his company go on to build war machines for the Nazis or be resurrected as an ugly, overpriced S-Class with a bad bodykit.