Welcome to The Morning Sh*t! Forget Greenwich, this morning was the real Mean Time.

1st Wipe: After years of going upmarket in the US (and failing), then years of going downmarket (and failing), then years of building cheating Diesels (and…succeeding), VW is once again trying to make its cars cheaper to attract a wider audience. All aboard the Crazy Train, we’re heading east.

2nd Wipe: The Tesla factory was idled for a few days in February, leading analysts to speculate the Model S Shrink Ray might be malfunctioning.


3rd Wipe: The new Honda Accord is pretty great, but isn’t selling well because Honda still trying to convince people that a midsize sedan is just like a crossover, but smaller, lower to the ground, and has half of the back end chopped off.

4th Wipe: Volvo, Mercedes, and BMW join virtually every other company in trying to explain that metal tariffs will mean fewer US jobs and lower investment. Maybe we should arm their US employees to prevent this.

5th Wipe: There is a limited-production, defective, top-heavy pink Hot Wheels microbus from 1969 that could be worth over $100k. If you have one, you’re gonna flip.

Flush: Today in 1921, the man responsible for making Fiat a household name to mechanics around the world, was born.