Welcome to The Morning Sh*t! You daily – or sometimes monthly, fortnightly, biannual, biennial, or semi-monthly update, depending on how busy I am each morning.

1st Wipe: The Jeep Wrangler almost outsold the Toyota Camry in April, as both vied for the coveted “Middle Aged Dad Still Deciding Between Growing Up and Holding On” demographic.

2nd Wipe: Trump meeting with carmakers to discuss fuel economy. In other words, Trump meeting completely unprepared and ill-informed to tell automakers what he wants them to do, only to have them ignore it all and continue their lobbying.

3rd Wipe: GM offering loans to South Korean unit to help maintain viability. In a weird sense, GM is only in this financial position because of US taxpayer loans, so I guess we can all go to South Korea with baseball bats when payments are due.

4th Wipe: Your dashboard’s main support is made of highly flammable magnesium. So naturally the factory that builds them now looks like a Hamas encampment after an anti-Israel tweet.

5th Wipe: In today’s “News from 1999,” colored brake calipers are gaining in popularity. Still no word on bodymatched drums for your Cavalier.

Advertisement

Splashback: Akio Toyoda was born today in 1956, joined the family company in 1984, and his career just accelerated rapidly and unexpectedly from there.