Here is the story of one man, a flat tire, and road kill. I apologize for there not being pictures in this story. But I promise it’s entertaining anyways.

So some random Thursday in September I went for a drive and got a flat tire about 100 kms into the Quebec bush. (right about here: https://goo.gl/maps/1Okv5 That was 5:30 pm.

I then pulled over and thought about what to do. The safest thing to do seemed to be to reverse into a driveway I had passed about 1/3rd a mile back. I manage to back in there down the shoulder of the highway.

I then tried to put on spare tire. My jack kept sinking into sand. Went to nearby house, to borrow hydrualic jack. Jack still kept sinking into sand. Finally get spare tire on. Realize I cannot put spare tire on front because it will be hard on the car`s differential because of the size variance between the wheels.

Need to take off rear wheel also. Try to take rear wheel off, will not come off. Hit it with tire iron several times to try to break free. Break off wheel weight from rear wheel. Fuck. Try to take off other rear wheel. Successful. Cannot jack up front of car high enough to get that wheel on front. Fuck. Put rear wheel back on rear.


Drive with spare on front around to the house to pump up spare. (owner said he had an air compressor) Spare tire comes off rim cannot be pumped up. Discuss various things with homeowner....call garage in Gracefield.

Garage Closed. Think about what to do. Think think think. Call a friend. It is now 8 pm. Tell said friend to go get winter tire out of my house. My friend goes over to my house. Call landlord. Tell landlord to go over to my house to unlock it. Landlord and Jeff meets at house. Text Jeff `bring flashlight` as it will be dark soon momentairly.

Wait about one hour 20 minutes. Jeff arrives. Try to jack up car, take off spare wheel. Cannot get winter tire on, jack too far sunk. Lower car, and realize I`ve lowered it without a wheel on it`s front. Fuck. Luckily the sand is soft. Try to use the spare wheel as a base for jack. Spare wheel too large to fit underneath car. Fuck. Lift car using jack, put on spare wheel. Drive car on flat spare wheel down the driveway to harder compacted gravel. Jack up car. Break one the little plastic jack handle.

Jack is homeowners whom has since gone to bed. Fuck. Realize there`s nothing we can do about it.

Jack up car, barely high enough to get winter wheel on. Get wheel on. Tighten. Collect various bits and bobs that had been left around. Tell Jeff to follow me. Hit raccoon. Jeff hits same raccoon. Pull over. Inspect cars. No damage. Continue....

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Almost hit deer. Wonder : ``why the fuck did I drive out here anyways`

Almost hit 2nd deer

Continue. Finally get into town. Part ways with Jeff. Consider it`s almost midnight and I haven`t ate dinner. Consider going to mcdonalds is too much effort. Go home. Eat some grapes. Eat a carrot. It is now midnight. Go to bed.

Wake up at 5am. Exhausted. Fuck.