If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

The Oppo Guide: How To Drive Like an Asshole

So after seeing my one-millionth a-hole driver on my way home from work yesterday, I thought we should make this thing: A guidebook to driving like an asshole. I want to illustrate it with diagrams (like the example below) and get contributions and edits from Oppo to make this our crowd-built contribution to the motoring world.

It would all be written in typical Oppo sarcastic fashion as a how-to driving guide to teach people to drive like a complete and utter cock. Here's an example from the section on "The Brake Pedal."


Other topics off the top of my head: Bumper Riding, Keeping Others Out of Your Lane, Being as Distracted as Possible, and Using Your Windshield Washers Effectively.

I wonder how hard it is to get a sub-domain on Kinja (HowToDrive.jalopnik.com) for this? That would be great for posting new articles and collaborating on them. The other option is to deal with Google Docs, but it wouldn't be as good for gathering feedback and collaboration.

What are your thoughts on this, Oppo? I'd love to get the contributions flowing.

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