During my drive home from the local fitness refinery I had a revelation. The opposite of toast is moist! Just look at the words!! Now hear me out, I’m referring to the noun form of toast. Toast as a verb, to toast, implies the combined presence of heating and drying (for heat is still the only technology we have for proper toasting, I think we can toast without heat though). The adjective of toast, toasty, involves something being in a dry state and also providing warmth however is not necessarily an item that creates heat for itself. Therefore dryness is the most important aspect and the defining trait of which has become “toast.”

No matter what temperature toast is it stays toast. So if we had something that was the opposite of a toaster then it would be a toister! And a toaster makes toast, a roaster makes roast, so a moister would make moist! Thus, in the future, you could have the option of having your sandwich toasted or moisted!! But much like toasting there is an implicent culinary artistry which determines when something is being toasted rather than burned. Same can be said about making something moist rather than wet or soggy.

This is why I believe that once bread can be transformed into toast or moist (like theorectically turning a loaf of bread into a cake) then we will enter into the future of food! It opens up an entire platform of bakingless baking!!

Imagine your buddies sitting over the camp fire toasting (not roasting) their marshmallows. All at once they all look far away from the fire! All eyes have re-focused towards you, sitting down alone, blanketed by the dancing shadows of their uninformed appetites. You’re hovering a marshmallow on a filthy stick, moisting your treat over an open moister. And you know what happens next? You don’t have to share your food, tent, or sleeping bag with anyone for the rest of the trip!


And what if roasting is the process of toasting and moisting simultaneously?! “A+B=C” and we have spent so much time perfecting “C” that we haven’t codified “A” and have completely neglected “B!”

Now go and make some Moist for breakfast, Oppo!