Here’s my neighborhood-Ford-GT before I get into this.
Hey guys (there’s a TLDR at the end, but here are my ramblings!). It’s been a long time since I’ve done one of these. But recent life changes have compelled me to do a post of this nature. In the past you all were exceedingly helpful in making sense of things. I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years and it was a very trying and emotional time for me. I thought several times about posting about it as it was going on. But I think I would’ve just been a blubbering idiot. So now that the dust has settled and I’m a bit more emotionally stable about the whole thing, I thought I’d see what you guys think about my situation.
It’s been a few months since the last and final and real breakup. It was preceded by several bullshit we need space, we just need to take a little break type of conversations. We were living together and she got this desire to be on her own for a while. So I begrudgingly attempted to support it. But it just wasn’t working, so eventually we actually broke up more definitively. We still acknowledged there may be a possibility that we end up together at some point in the future, but right now she isn’t sure about at that. At the time I thought I was sure I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, but I now also am not so sure. I’m not sure how I’d react if she wanted to come back.
So now I’ve decided to put myself out there again. I’ve been on a few dates. And there’s one person I’ve been on several dates with now and last weekend that became physical. And it has been both wonderful and scary. She’s a really awesome person and she’s a very different person from the aforementioned person. So that’s been fun and interesting as well.
I also know that I won’t spend the rest of my life with this particular person. It’s not likely at any rate. She’s indicated that she isn’t interested in marriage or kids. And while I don’t necessarily need to be married, I’d honestly be happy foregoing that, I’m interested in a lifelong monogamous bond with someone, but I wouldn’t need to be married for that, really that’s up to the person that would like to spend the rest of their life with me. But I do think I want kids.
So this is okay right? I can have fun with this right? I’ve been having a just wait and see where it goes attitude and a this is fun right now attitude. But in the back of my head I’m also like “I’m 30, shit I’m almost 31, and should I be finding someone whose life-goals more closely align with mine?”. I’m leaning towards: just go with the flow, enjoy life, see where it takes me, don’t worry too much! You have a job that pays well, a house, a car, a fun romance, life is good. What do you guys think, is this for now the correct approach?
This new romance is confusing all on its own, it’s new, i don’t know what’ll happen. But at least we’ve both acknowledged that this is new to us. But haven’t really discussed it much beyond that.
Thank you for reading and thank you for your thoughts. Whatever you have to offer, I’d love to hear it.
TLDR: Was in a 3 year relationship, now I am not, recently got into a new romantic, relatively undefined relationship at this early stage. She may not be the one forever, but she is fun and exciting right now. Is that okay? Because also I am 30 and I want kids, I think.