It's time to reveal what I know. Done keeping my mouth shut about all of this. I'll be dead by the time this gets published, but enough is enough. The truth has to come out.

Clarkson and BRT are the same person. Jalopnik had approach BRTson about writing for them months before they published the article asking, but there was no way he could do both the show and a jalopnik column. One of them had to go.

The producer he supposedly struck isn't a real person. He never existed. There are no birth records. The twitter account could be anyone (but is probably BRT/Clarkson). All the pictures of him in the media are computer generated forgeries. The story was cooked up by the head of Porsche and approved by the CEOs of Ferrari, McLaren, Valve, and BBC. They needed to end the show before the stig could discover the horrifying truth about todays modern hypercars. They're put forward as extreme performance machines. But there's nothing extreme about them at see...

...all three are powered by a 3 cylinder diesel hooked up to a CVT. No one has revealed their ring times, because all three could be easily beaten by a Nissan Versa.

But wait...I mention Valve. What do they have to do with this? What indeed...

3 Hypercars.
3 Presenters.
3 Initials.

The overlap between Top Gear viewers and Steam account holders is well known and established, and with Top Gear out of the way, soon their attentions will be focused on one thing and one thing only...