I can’t keep my mouth shut anymore. It’s time to quit lying to everyone and spill the beans about me, Jagvar, VAG engineering in the US and how everything went down. My career is over, but that’s okay. Truth is better than money.

Jagvar did it. I know because we worked together. He was the lead diesel engineer in the U.S. at VW. He was good at his job but didn’t care too much for it. He actually wanted to take control of V.A.G. Global so he could make them build that V10 TDI diesel Phaeton Manual Wagon he’s been lusting after ever since he first saw the Phaeton. I...I tried to tell him that these were delusions of grandeur, and that no one who was born without German blood in their veins would ever have a shot at running V.A.G., but he wouldn’t listen. The man’s fanatical about it. Nobody could tell him no. Not even Ferdinand Piech.

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That’s right. The Chair of the entire global organization actually came to speak with him. The outlandish things he was doing to try to move up the chain actually reached the command center in Germany; the bribery, offers of free coke and hookers, sexual favors in exchange for promotions that never came and ultimately resulted in a maternity leave spike at the US headquarters, the stalking, the appearing naked in one executive’s shower without their knowledge that one time...Piech had enough.

When he suddenly appeared at our conjoined cubicle, I thought for sure we were done. They exchanged pleasantries and talked friendly until Piech mentioned the Phaeton...then immediately they both exploded in a fury of passionate argument, all of it in German. The way Jagvar stretched his hands out all animated, I knew he was trying to convert Piech to manual diesel wagonism, but it wasn’t working. By the end of the conversation...we were both canned.

On the long awkward-but-not-uncomfortable-because-Phaeton drive home...Jagvar seethed. I offered my apologies, but he said I didn’t have anything to be sorry for.

Jagvar: Besides...a few years from now, the only people who will be sorry will be the ones at V.A.G.
Me: What...what do you mean?
Jagvar: I set us up the bomb.
Me: You...what did you do???

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He just smiled. “All your base are belong to ME now, motherfuckers.” Was the last thing he said to me before dropping me off. He fell off the radar after that day. I never heard from him in person again. When I watched the new diesel ads for VW touting a urea-less emissions system that also improved fuel economy...I knew. It was too late. By that time, there was nothing I could do.

I’m sorry I didn’t come clean sooner. Maybe a few families out there who’d been talked into manual diesel VWs might have been spared the fate of owning a fun-to-drive practical car if I had, but I just didn’t have the guts. Jagvar, I still care for you bro, but...this was messed up. It’s too far. YOU WENT TOO FAR, MAN!

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