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The ZDX Theroem

ZDX in brown.  We’ll get to this later...
ZDX in brown.  We’ll get to this later...

So we all know coupe-UVs are dumb. They combine the worst parts of the coupe and the SUV. They’re heavy, poor on fuel, impractical, and don’t handle well. The positive aspects of both have been sacrificed in the name of aesthetics. So for God’s sake at least make it pretty! And that’s where so many of these coupe-UVs fail.

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But let’s go back to the beginning. The 2007 BMW X6.

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I will say this. It’s not horrible. It’s bad, but not as bad as it could be. That little slit grille underneath the kidneys makes it look like a little dog with an underbite, which is cute, I guess. It’s a much simpler package than what it’s now morphed into.

Illustration for article titled The ZDX Theroem
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UGH. It’s still got way too many grilles, the headlights are the wrong shape, those little chrome things in the lower fascia vents are like what? and the little faux trunk bump at the back is all wrong.

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And the X4 is even worse. The wheels look comically small in those huge arches, and 6-6! huge grilles dominate the fascia. Those three identical swooshes along the side of the body are awful. The headlights have way too many angles and the foglights are carelessly placed and look stupid.

Illustration for article titled The ZDX Theroem
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The GLC is better, especially in this trim, from this angle. But from the side it looks downright bulbous.

So how does this all come around to the Acura ZDX? Well it’s the only SUV coupe in my eyes that has ever pulled off the look.

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Illustration for article titled The ZDX Theroem

The biggest factor in the ZDX’s success is its simple, sleek styling. The BMWs tend to be overwrought, even baroque. And while the GLC is curvier and simpler, it’s got some finicky details and the shape isn’t right.

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Illustration for article titled The ZDX Theroem

From the side it’s easy to see why it works. It’s long and low, and the hidden door handle in the D-pillar helps draw the eye across the muscular haunches.

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Illustration for article titled The ZDX Theroem

I think I want a ZDX now.

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