Rats, didn't seem like he wanted to play yesterday. I guess I'll just need to post these one-liner replies I didn't get to use.

"What's the difference between a @jesusdiaz article and a fortune cookie? Sometimes the fortune is two sentences."

"What does @jesusdiaz and crisp, refreshing Coors Light have in common? They'll both tell you exactly cool they are. "

"@jesusdiaz, a priest, and a rabbi walked into a bar. I'd tell you the rest of the joke, but I'm too busy listening to myself to finish."

"How do you keep @jesusdiaz in suspense? "

"@jesusdiaz Does it bother you more that this is: A) A middle finger, or B) Off center?"