TOP SECRET PLANS FOR WORLD DOMINATION DO NOT PUBLISH

Bless you, 2018, for giving us all here at Jalopnik stupid tweet Christmas.

This is my current bio at that time of that tweet, for what it’s worth:

Anyway, back to building landing strips for gay Martians and rigging the results of the Rolex 24. The chemtrail guys keep making “U WOT M8?” and “nice” jokes, and who are we as shadow-rulers of the universe to disappoint?

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UPDATE: Thanks a friggin’ lot for ruining my chances of finally getting a Gaz Chaika, sheesh.