Today marks one month since I got a call from my friend Mike that our friend Whitley was killed on his motorcycle on his way to work. I was almost hoping that it was because he was doing something he shouldn’t have been, but it wasn’t. A negligent driver turned in front of him and that’s it.

I’ve thought about him a lot since then, as well as my own mortality. My best friend said “it’s what we signed up for”, when we were at his funeral. To which I responded, “Uh not me, I didn’t sign up for this shit. I signed up for the possibility of serious injury or death because of my own stupidity/negligence, but not to get clipped on my way to work and killed!” However the reality is that stuff like this happens and it’s a part of riding a motorcycle.

A month ago I was thinking that I might trade my car for something cheaper in order to get a really sweet bike. I haven’t been back on the Grom since he died, and I honestly have no desire to. I’m not afraid of it or riding, but I just don’t feel like it. I used to take it out any chance I got, but now I’m like “eh, I’ll just drive.” Riding was meditation for me, and now I can’t even look at a motorcycle, let alone throw my leg over one without thinking about all of the neat life stuff that my buddy won’t get to experience because some dumb bitch couldn’t look before she turned.

After it first happened I told myself that I wouldn’t let it ruin riding for me, I know that Whit would be upset if he knew that his death turned me off of motorcycles. However I was anticipating fear as the deterrent to riding, but it’s motivation. What seemed so fun, just doesn’t seem that fun anymore.

I’m supposed to ride dirt bikes with a friend in the near future and I’m looking forward to that, but I don’t know about commuting anymore. It’s getting cold anyway, so I can see how I feel in the spring.

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On a more positive note, all of this has really “re-sparked” cars for me. Not that I ever lost interest, but I was so enthralled with the idea of spending less money for more fun on a motorcycle that cars fizzled for a little bit. In the spring I will decide my future with motorcycles and if there is none. My goal will be to get myself in the drivers seat of a RWD 911 by the end of 2018.

Anyway, happy Friday! I hope everyone has something fun going on this weekend.