>Always splurge to get Jack Daniels over Jim Beam. The later just tastes like literal fire water and the former tastes like a mossy rock from the bottom of a creek (vastly preferable)

>Both Arizona sweet tea and McDonalds sweet tea costs a dollar. So why the fuck would anyone ever buy McDonald’s sweet tea unless they’re eating there? It tastes like the melted a lump of sugar and mixed it with the dish water. (WHY WOULD THEY EVEN HAVE DISH WATER IF THEY DON’T HAVE DISHES?)

>Why can privates be trusted with the privilege of buying liquor from gas stations, but the general population can’t?

>Any bad whiskey can be made acceptable with enough sweet tea.