“I’ve already won the Nigerian lottery five times in a row due to me being the official heir to the throne. Please don’t bother, as I do have unlimited time to waste and if your intentions are to scam me, I will devote a good bit of my time and energy signing you up for transsexual goat porn.

I do not wish to have your mother’s twice used ps2, subwoofers and/or NBA Jam 2k2. I already own them and they are awful. I do wish to trade for currency of the American variety.”