If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

This is not a sex toy

Along with the usual flowers, card and chocolates, I gave my wife a couple knickknacks for Valentine’s Day, including this cocktail muddler. She makes brandy old-fashioneds where she muddles a sugar cube, maraschino cherry & orange peel, but uses my stone mortar.

When we exchanged gifts, she opened the end of muddler box with the rounded metal handle:

She looked at me with a raised eyebrow like, “is this what I think it looks like?” I quickly explained that no, this was in fact for making old fashioneds that she likes so much, and avoided any Valentine’s gift pitfalls.

If only she had instead opened the other end of the box, things would’ve been less confusing.


Thanks, Amazon.

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