I'm a Nursing major (yes, I'm a guy). Because of that, I tend to study in the building on campus where my professors are located. On the 3rd floor of that building, there are tables and couches where only Nursing Majors can study. I've used the same table and desk for the past week. I also have worn the same hoodie, and the same shorts for the past week (because I can't find my fucking pants. No seriously, I really can't.).

That's led to my professors thinking that I haven't gone home since Saturday. Since then, I've had professors come up to me going, "TurboSloth (no they don't call me that), I really have to say I admire your diligence. You can go home, you know? Finals won't be that hard."

I haven't shaved in 2 weeks. I look like a hobo. The only reason the faculty and security hasn't kicked me out, is because they know me that the guy who sits in the same seat and table and studies. Now they know me as the guy who hasn't gone home in nearly a week. I have gone home. Only after everyone has left. And I show up to the same place before anyone gets here.

I calculated my grades, and on each of my finals, I cannot get more than 15 questions wrong. 15 questions per test. That's what separates me from an A in each class.

Honestly, the quiet has done things to me. I'm slowly starting to realize that I do actually have voices in my head. I can discern between reality and my mind, so I know I'm not schizophrenic. One day, I drew up a map of what I want to do with the rest of my life, which kinda went like this.

1. Become Trauma Nurse, work in a Shock Trauma center. Become real damn good at the job.


2. Go back to grad school within 5 years of landing my job, to go back for anesthesiology at Colombia University or UPenn (Getting into an Ivy Grad School is easier when you have the experience).

2.5. Score high at the LSATs./GMATs (I like the LSATs. I love these type of questions)

3. Get a part time MBA/JD (NYU, or Colombia), and see if I can get a MPH (Masters in Public Health).


4. Get a doctorate in something.

5. Make public health policy. Instead of 'Obamacare,' we're going to have some 'TurboCare (TM)'

6. Be successful in making policy. Become Surgeon General.

7. Become President/Leader of the Free World.

8. Create an Autobahn system, initiate stricter criteria on getting your license (for safety reasons, Jalops would pass. You all are safe drivers right?)


TLDR; I'm losing my sanity over here, but thought of a way to create an autobahn, while taking over the world. TURBOSLOTH FOR PREZ 2024

Yep, I'm going crazy here. Also, smoking is a risk factor for EVERYTHING. Don't smoke kids.

If you've read all of this, then, damn. What are you doing with your life? Thanks though. HERE's a great looking ass of an STI.