A beloved employee had her last day with me on Friday, and picked a local place with a patio for her send-off.

Illustration for article titled Thoughts On Biker Bars

I parked amongst at least a half dozen bro-dozers and contractor trucks, looking a little out of place. I was also the only dude wearing khakis and a button down shirt, so I’m sure everybody in the place knew which pansy was driving the foreign car....

This made me think about these suburban pseudo-biker bars. They are usually filled with guys that bring their Harley on the weekend (if their wife lets them), all dressed up in their biker cosplay outfits. The servers are typically young pretty females wearing shorts that are shorter than they need to be (is it obvious I have a teenage daughter now and have a totally different perspective on this?). There’s probably the expected amount of criminal activity going on; it’s just more likely to be tax evasion and embezzlement than running drugs or human trafficking. Instead of wasting time pulling over brown guys with broken tail lights looking for dime bags of weed, maybe the fuzz should be running the plates on all the F-350s in the parking lot to see if they really are a business expense...


Imagine a scene with a tactical-vest wearing guy with his gun drawn: “Sir I need you to step out of the vehicle and show me your schedule of itemized deductions”, and then the late-filers get wrestled to the ground, tased, and maybe shot. 

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