Datsun 510 4-door rally car for your time:

Dear local E93 M3 driver,

We get it. You’re upset. You bought an E93 M3. Everyone tried to tell you that it wasn’t as good as the E92 or E90, but you wouldn’t listen. You were convinced that the retractable roof that you’ll use 3 times a year was worth the weaker chassis and additional lbs, but it just isn’t.

But that doesn’t mean you should tear through the neighborhood, where kids play and people walk their dog(s). No one is impressed by you flooring it from that stop sign, only to slam on the brakes to make your turn. We all just feel sad for you for buying the wrong M3.

Dear local S550 Mustang Driver,

Cool new mustang. Shame you had to ruin it with straight pipes that stink up the air and sound like garbage. Maybe you should have invested that money in some better wheels than your scratched up stockers and skinny Sumitomo tires. Have fun putting that extra 5 hp to the ground.

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Dear local 982 Boxster Driver,

I think there is something wrong with your car - it sounds terrible. I don’t know what you did to it but... wait, it’s stock? That’s just what the new 2.0 sounds like? Ooh... Does it have an exhaust button that makes it louder like the 991's? Maybe stop pushing that button.

/rant

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