Here’s the list of things that the seller did not reveal about the vehicle, if at all, until I had driven two hours to bum-fuck nowhere to drive it.

1. It was yet ANOTHER “1-owner” vehicle being sold by someone who was not the owner.
2. Nice dent in the rear fender, that as far as I can tell, was deliberately photoshopped out of the ad.
3. Lots of paint and clearcoat missing on the hood and rear. When I compare to the ad, I also suspect photoshopping for this.
4. Ad claimed tires were good, but once we started driving, he said that the rear should probably be replaced asap!
5. When you cranked the wheel all the way either direction, the power steering pumped SCREAMED like a banshee. Never heard anything like it.
6. The vehicle drove like it was wobbling.
7. Everything squeaked and rattled like mad.

This was a modern vehicle, folks. Not some FX Corolla.

Guy was shady as fuck. He twice tried turning the volume of the stereo — way up — to cover up the concerning noises. “It has a great sound system!” The best part was that while he went on and on about how good the vehicle was, he pointed ahead and said, “Oh yeah, this school bus stop is a good turnaround and then we can head back.” We had been driving for maybe two minutes. I knew which road headed towards a highway, but he purposely guided me down a road that you could go maybe 40mph on, briefly, and tried to keep the test drive to under, what, seven minutes? Probably just short enough for the CEL to not turn back on or some other horrible flaw to reveal itself.