TL;DR Reviews: Ram 1500 - "Blaaaaack"

Welcome to TL;DR Reviews! Here, I tell you what you need to know about a car in about the same time it (apparently) takes to get a Prius up to 60 MPH. I have not seen real world evidence to suggest otherwise.


What is it? 2015 Ram 1500 Crew Cab Black Express Edition, meaning that it has dual exhaust, black wheels, black badges, black grill, black headlights, black bumpers, and gets dirty within 10 miles of driving anywhere. It has the 8 speed auto that receives 395 horsepower and 410 foot-pounds from a 5.7L HEMI V8 and then sends it to the optional 3.92 rear end, or to all the wheels when 4WD is engaged. The 5'7" bed has been coated with a black spray-in liner and then covered with a black roll-up tonneau. The hitch is also black. It does not know the meaning of the word overkill.

Pros: tows boats and cars with ease; incredibly confident in snow; huge interior space that seats six and has ample rear legroom; best exhaust note among production trucks; comfortable ride and seats; aggressive exterior styling that the competition still can’t beat —although that awful new grill for 2016 may be ending that


Cons: despite having more power, the Ram is slower and has lower towing capacity than the Ford or Chevy; it also isn’t as safe; the blower fan couldn’t put out a candle; oil changes are a mess thanks to poor filter location; the 5" touchscreen isn’t user friendly and the steering wheel lacks radio controls other than voice recognition; annoyingly intrusive stability control


Recommendation: It is astonishing how far trucks have come in the past couple decades to become more convenient and comfortable as passenger vehicles. This Ram is no exception. The front end snarls at you and the rumble gives that tingly feeling in your gut. The power is immense. The Black package allows you to have a nice, custom look without being an aftermarket douche-bro. But every day, when I get into it, one word most frequently comes to mind: unnecessary.

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