What is the sound of one piston slapping?
What is the sound of one piston slapping?

We discover how NOT to relocate an outside water hose spigot when adding a front porch to a house.

1st, do not hide the new one behind lattice that was chewed on by some rodent at one point:

Illustration for article titled Today On Takuros Houselopnik
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Once discovering there was no water coming out, and the water was turned ON in the basement (one valve/line feeds the front and rear spigots. rear spigot spews water) I traced it to a handy removable section of porch with the original spigot location, which leads us to

2nd: Do not do.... this. ANY of this:

Oh, hello shielded wiring, you’re not supposed to be there quite like that...
Oh, hello shielded wiring, you’re not supposed to be there quite like that...
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At one time there was a small section of garden hose leading from this spigot to the one under the lattice at the end of the porch. So I started pulling up boards to see what I had to deal with to replace it...

3rd: Fuck, that’s a long pipe. I need to pull up more boards:

Illustration for article titled Today On Takuros Houselopnik
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Illustration for article titled Today On Takuros Houselopnik

Aha! Found the terminus. Also found the broken end of hose still on it.

Illustration for article titled Today On Takuros Houselopnik
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Illustration for article titled Today On Takuros Houselopnik

I pulled the stupid broken end off, and the splitter from the spigot on the house since I don’t need two water sources, especially since the one valved spigot was pissing water everywhere when I turned on the spigot.... I’m going to run a new hose to the spigot under the porch, but am going to try and position it further out away from the lattice so I can actually PUT A HOSE ON IT. The good news is its not firmly mounted, I can twist the whole thing, pipe and all so I might just try to push it out a bit.

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Why they didn’t just extend some pipe out the whole way I’ll never know, but judging by the way they rewired everything they half-assed a LOT of stuff at each remodel/addition.

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