Fixing and breaking my door. Ant community. A long, exasperating workout with a case of oil. Using a ratchet to tediously remove targa top. Worrying about gas range. Worrying about oil type. Worrying about Napa guy with fire in his eyes and death in his laugh. Hood alignment impossibilities. All of this and more on the latest installment of... C4 Update.

Rolling out of the garage this morning, like any other, in my unregistered, uninsured 1985 Corvette 2005 Bicycle on my way to work at the local jai alai court serving lines of high-quality cocaine, I realized that I am staring down life with the other Corvette. No real hobbies, drive, pals/buddies/bros, or noble pursuits are in my life to be an excuse for not spending every waking moment focusing on this car. SOULMATES. Its is the soul of divorced suburban Tennessee midlife crisis husbands looking to relive the glory days on a budget. Am I gay for my car, then? Today was the first small DIY project with the car. The power lock buttons were punched out of their slots in the door function inserts in the door cards. I unscrew the thing with ease (three cheers for old cars from Detroit- er, Bowling Green, Kentucky). I yank out the insert from the door, start fiddling with lock stuff, partially fix it, and assume I just press it back in. Right? It just presses back in easily, right? WRONG. After breaking some brittle pieces of plastic inside the door older than I am and screwing sometimes repeatedly until she (the door) was satisfied, I wedge the insert back in. I tried to take the whole interior panel off, but that would be attacking the situation from the wrong side. Anyways, that's done. I sorta fixed stuff, sorta broke stuff.

On to Napa auto parts. They close at 8:00, and it's 7:45. If I run the entire way, I can make it! So I run the entire way. Out of breath, I ask the parts counter guy what kind of oil I need for an '85 Corvette (I didn't have time to look it up, don't look at me like that). It's 10W-30, or preferably 5W-30. Okay, onto synthetic vs traditional. I didn't know what the previous owners used, so I went traditional. Valvoline is on sale, at a much better price than Castrol GTX. "Where is your brand loyalty now, motherfucker?" call out the silver bottles of Valvoline (more like Eval-voline, amiright?). I must go Castrol. I have to. I do, checking out from a guy with a really terrifying laugh and stare, and heading out on my excursion with a case of 6 quarts and and a Napa filter. The 25 minute walk home was decent exercise, I guess. Balancing the oil and the filter (which I dropped and dented slightly on the grip end) was a little tedious, but I have what I need to change the oil at least.

That's pretty much the end of my tale, although I intend on doing a full Seafoam and putting new ATF in the Doug Nash overdrive 'box. Anyways, that's my incredibly interesting and intriguing day as the owner of a C4 Corvette doing C4 Corvette owner things. I do have something to say about the C4. It's... it's the bomb. *Sees self out*

EDIT: Oh yeah, the ants. There are a bunch of ants living under the windshield and thriving on pollen. I vacuumed lots of them away, but I fear they still live under there. I also cleaned the thick carpets so the car would smell less like sweaty underwear, which it still does. That' s all.

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EDIT EDIT: That's actually not all. The hood alignment screws are impossible to turn. It's time to call the pros.