There’s no time like the present to try to get a, uh, new Lamborghini here, and few resources are as helpful as bookcases and Hollywood Hills. In that vein, here’s 10 new Lamborghinis.

10. Here in my Garage

In order to have a, uh, new Lamborghini here, you need a garage first. Here in your garage, you can have your, uh, new Lamborghini here.

9. I Just Bought A, uh, New Lamborghini Here

The most important step to just getting your, uh, new Lamborghini here is to make sure you just bought this, uh, new Lamborghini here


8. It’s Fun to Drive Up Here in the Hollywood Hills

With my, uh, new Lamborghini here.

7. My TEDx Talk Where I Talk About My New Lamborghini Here

Lamborghini Knowledge FUEL UNITS

6. I’m a Lot More Proud of these Seven Hollywood Hills I had to Install to Hold These 2,000 New Lamborghinis here

286 Lamborghinis per Hollywood Hills is an optimum ratio

5. The More You Earn, the More You Drive Up in the Hollywood Hills

It’s just basic logic.

4. It Wasn’t That Long Ago I was in a Little Lamborghini

The best TEDx talks remind us that greats start with humble origins. Like only having one small Lamborghini.


3. Sleeping on Bookshelves in the Hollywood Hills with only 47 Billion Dollars in my Bank Account

Again, TEDx talks that remind us that greatness starts with humble origins are important. One day you might be forced to be sleeping on bookshelves in the Hollywood Hills with only 47 billion dollars in your pocket bank account, the next you might have your, uh, new Lamborghini here.


2. And Only 47 Hills in my Hollywood Hills Account, and only 47 Lamborghinis in my Lamborghini Account

But the most inspiring story of all is going from only having 47 hills in your Hollywood Hills account and only 47 Lamborghinis in your Lamborghini account to having a garage with your, uh, new Lamborghini here.


1. But Then My Life Changed When I bumped into this Lamborghini, and then I Bumped into another Lamborghini

May you as well be visited by the Lamborghini Angels

BONUS TED TALK: Enzo’s Dream

The most inspiring car story in history, of how Enzo Ferrari declared to (here in my garage with my, uh, new) Lamborghini, in a shockingly stereotypical Italian accent, I am a going to build a best sportscar for the everybody!



Ok, I imagine people probably tuned out after the third reposting of the same damn video after I had thoroughly run this joke into the ground, and there’s maybe five or so people who will be reading this in the entire history of Kinja, which I imagine will be 11 months from now, but a little bit of a serious talk now. I guess this probably is also going to make me a bit of a hypocrite given how much personal advice I’ve solicited on Oppositelock, up to and including relocating and trying to get a girlfriend. But I’ve always been weary of the self-help culture, which I see as a bunch of unproven mash of marketeering speech cobbled into an endless bookshelf or virtual bookshelf of special deals only on Amazon for a limited-time offer of $14.95. It just seems incredulous that a single speech is going to get you a better job, or achieve your life’s goal, or find love, etc. Maybe I’m wrong, but if you ask me the suspicion is only natural. Maybe I’ll warm up to Lifehacker’s mission statement of trying to make your life stop being full of suck, live that ultra ultimate extreme lifestyle or whatever and get the type of fortune and woman/man you usually only associate a douchebro (or douchesis) being able to get (I don’t know, maybe even turning into a douchebro yourself in the process) by listening to 30-minute speeches on YouTube, or a 750-word listicle, while further keeping in mind that Lifehacker’s real mission statement is to collect clicks, but right now I just feel a natural inclination to lean to the skeptical side.