Good afternoon and good morning hello friends of Jalopnik and Raphmoe and oppo.

Illustration for article titled Top 10 Things To Do To Have Fun Driving

Today's article came to me while taking a long morning shift this morning while eating some cornbread cereal and hot pasta with creamed milk and sugar; delicious. But i distress, I was thinking about what are the top 10 things to do while driving that lead to pure enjoyment and pleasure (besides sexual inter-relations of course) and thought; raphmoe, let's make a list for us to read to the readers of Jalopnik. This list is the Top 10 Things To Do To Have Fun Driving:

  1. Take pictures of your car (showing off what car you are driving makes driving more fun)
  2. Take videos of yourself driving (documenting that you drove a car is where passion lies)
  3. Take pictures of other cars while driving your car; this is fun and leads to more fun.
  4. Shift aggressively and hit the red-line with every gear; God gave you a full rev range; use it!
  5. Corner hard and fast; driving is meant to impress other people, and since you're recording your driving they will be totally impressed when you drive hard.
  6. Talk to yourself often. Raphmoe talks to himself all the time because at the end of the day the only person who enjoys your own bullshit is yourself. Love yourself, often, with Jergens or Vaseline if you love too often.
  7. Take a pit stop at the McDonalds (SPONSORED) dollar menu. Treat yourself.
  8. Pump your own gasoline. There is nothing better than the smell of a petrol station and the taste of a smooth drag from an American Spirit (SPONSORED) cigarette. The cool tobacco and moisture rich gasoline vapor makes your soul aflame.
  9. Drive through mud, and dirt, and puddles, and snow, and abuse the hell out of your car. Seriously, just trash the shit out of it and let it break. This is what cars were meant for! TO be driven and abused. Don't worry about cleaning it or taking care of it. Wait until it's completely broken down and destroyed, then maybe consider using Duct Tape & Dreams (See lede photo) to repair it; thankfully, since this is all documented you can look back and see how cool this was.
  10. Have a Jalopnik account. This is critical to have fun while driving; if you don't talk to Jalopnik and OPpositelock about driving, did you really have fun? Nope, you did not. Remember, being awesome on Jalopnik is more important than cars, money, a life, a career, or anything else in the world. Driving your car and telling us about it is the #1 way to have fun driving.

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