In the wake of yesterday’s shooting massacre of 17 youth and adults at a high school in Florida, the White House today announced that American President Donald Trump would be hosting a summit on School Safety. While the guest list is still being finalized, White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders indicated that the event would be sponsored by Remington Arms and that the key note speaker would be Charlton Heston. Planning of the event was to be headed up by Counselor Kelly Ann Conway, with refreshments provided by the Sackler Family. When a pool reporter asked Mrs. Sanders about reports that Charlton Heston had died in 2008, Mrs. Sanders huddled briefly with her deputy and then returned to the mike saying, “Thank you for that alternative fact. We meant Wayne LaPierre would be key note speaker.”