I should count myself lucky. Time for a straight glass of scotch whisky...
After I visited the gun range to see if they had restocked on Federal Range Target Practice ammunition, I came back, called 911 to inform of the debris hazard, and proceeded to drag the garbage off the road. One was still intact, and the other was ripped open.
Cloudy and wet days tend to make for nastier driving in Everett, more dumb shit happens.