I just want to live out my happy dipshit life, being me, a fairly happy dipshit. But yet. BUT YET. People can’t not be fuckers, and I have to use a life time of fuckertude to be a fucker. And it’s like, I don’t really get enjoyment out of being an asshole anymore, but sometimes people misinterpret that as “I can be a dick.” You cannot. I will crush you. I am the most unrelenting asshole you will ever meet, even though I don’t want to be.

Jesus Christ, I need a drink.