Went to the hospital last night to get my knee checked out. Turns out I had a dislocated kneecap which was causing a lot of internal swelling. Needle in my knee to remove excess fluids, then the doctor pushed my kneecap into place while a nurse held my leg in position. Exciting!
Made it out around midnight. Feels better already, although still not great. An additional two weeks at least before I can do fun things like squats and climbing ladders. Could be a lot worse! Large dog for your time