If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

Volkswagen Atlas Weekend Edition Concept (Sponsored by JC Whitney)

Is it just me, or does the Volkswagen Atlas Weekend Edition concept displayed in this picture look like my cubemate Gare-Bear (aka Gary) bought it and then went a little crazy in the accessories section of the JC Whitney catalog? I mean there is A LOT going on here! This concept is like one of those over accessorized middle-aged service industry professionals trying to cover up the fact that their personality is pretty bland. To trick their Applebee’s customers they’ll just apply a bunch of kitschy adornments and eye confusing flair to their shirt and make everyone feel like their having a “fun time” together with the subpar dining experience.

Anyway, the exterior accessories that I can decipher out of this concept are running boards, mirror caps, a front end bug guard, accessory LED lights under the logo on the grille, side window deflectors, all-terrain tires, contrasting gray lower bumper treatments and crossbars with an expandable roof-top cargo carrier.

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That was a lot of items to type let alone your eye and brain to process. Then there is that color that’s slathered all over the large panels of the Atlas. Is that color Volkswagens Sandstorm Yellow Metallic? I know this is the “Weekend Edition” concept and weekends are your time to thrive and shine from the mundane cube farm work-fam(ily) life you sludge through five days a week but believe me nobody thinks you’re fun and zany in suburban traffic because you chose that yellow. In fact, even your dog is embarrassed (evidence pictured with her oversized decorative K9 neck cuff you made her wear). One more thing Gare-Bear, your dog told me that she also wants out of this weird moving cage-jail and would really prefer the room of a traditional minivan, thank you very much.

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