Volvo Throwing Shade!

Illustration for article titled Volvo Throwing Shade!

Finally read the article about Polestar going hybrid for the S90 and V90. Couldn’t help but read in between the lines of Peter Mertens’ quote.

“Polestar will still be sophisticated performance; it’s not just a case of doing a ‘boy racer’ by dropping a big engine in there. Hybrid power is the direction that Polestar will go in. In a way, Tesla has legitimised electric performance, although Polestar will be more sophisticated again. We want to be able to offer high performance without regrets.”

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Im not standing under a tree, I don’t see a cloud in the sky, and yet I got all this fine Swedish shade keeping me cool tonight. Let’s get out our glasses and find out what’s between the lines here.

“Polestar will still be sophisticated performance (we’ve always been classy, and shall continue to keep it classy); it’s not just a case of doing a ‘boy racer’ by dropping a big engine in there (Chrysler, I dont care if you found a way to “get it up,” that stiffy is still connected to an old sack that I have to watch you trip over every time you move from a stop). Hybrid power is the direction that Polestar will go in. In a way, Tesla has legitimised electric performance (kudos to you Tesla, game recognizes game), although Polestar will be more sophisticated again (you aint nothing but a hellcat on duracells, now get off the green when pros tee up). We want to be able to offer high performance without regrets (Awww, can’t finish your trip because you floored it? Life must be rough without an extension cord. Oh, what’s that, American Muscle just met an American Tree? Hmmm, can’t say we’ve seen that in Volvo).” *mic drop*

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But you know, in Swedish probably. Really though, Mertens’ feelings can be summed up from this old favorite:

“There’s a name for you ladies, but it isn’t used in high society...outside of a kennel.” - Joan Crawford, The Women (1939)

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