If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

Walking into work

Right side of the staircase, my territory. Underclassman girl, on her phone, earbuds in, walking towards me, going upstairs. Left arm swinging wildly. As the gap between us closes, I move to the extreme right to avoid her. Her path skews to her left, towards me. Arm still flailing about. She has yet to see me. Five feet and closing. I already see it coming. Her hand strikes The Boys. Her jaw drops. I brace for what is to come.

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