Ive been getting hit on quite a bit ever since I lost my baby teeth. I was able to hold onto them for so long because I kept them on a necklace instead of under a pillow (which is historically a terrible place to keep your teeth). To help this make sense, understand that shark tooth necklaces were popular for a time around the late 80s and early 90s.

Even from a young age, I was a very physically fiscal rascal and wanted something with a higher initial sentimental value in order to compound more interest quickly. Another benefit to a bunch of baby teeth on a necklace is that they yeild a higher pitched jingle which makes the entire endeavor sound investment advice all around.

But let me tell you, you learn very quickly that negative interest and depreciation are quite different things socially while wearing a babytoothed necklace...

Alas! With the necklace gone — which wasnt the takeaway from this story to begin with — I’ve been getting a lot of positive attention lately. Many, many... inquiries. You may say that I’m being pursued which makes me a catch in this nauty context.

Well, with so many people asking me for my number — and me being prone to practicing pragmatism — I have been giving out my phone number in numerical order so that it would be easier to remember.


Now, obviously I let people know that I’m giving my number in numerical order! I know that this is an unusual practice even though I don’t know a more practical way to present the material. My number is 334-4365, so this a foolproof method.