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Washlopnik Odyssey: A Rough Volvo and a Stalwart Toyota

Illustration for article titled Washlopnik Odyssey: A Rough Volvo and a Stalwart Toyota

Many of you will think me a fool for washing not one but two cars during the peak of pollen season, but I have several good reasons. For one, I absolutely had to get in some catharsis and there is little more relaxing to me than washing a car. Even better, washing two cars for someone who will appreciate it. Second, both these cars were so dirty that no amount of pollen could hide the difference.

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Let’s start chronologically with the 2007 Vovlo XC90.

Illustration for article titled Washlopnik Odyssey: A Rough Volvo and a Stalwart Toyota
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Illustration for article titled Washlopnik Odyssey: A Rough Volvo and a Stalwart Toyota

This poor Swede is in rough shape. Looking at it you might suspect a low speed accident had occurred. It’s really more like a dozen low speed collisions but very few of them caused damage or were at-fault.

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Illustration for article titled Washlopnik Odyssey: A Rough Volvo and a Stalwart Toyota

First I grabbed someone’s toothpaste to polish up the faded headlamps. This one had some packing tape covering some fatal flaws, which needed replacement. Unfortunately the tape was so damaged by the UV it wasn’t worth it to peel all of it off. The quick release headlight design is about the only thing I can appreciate in this under-powered FWD tank.

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When this pandemic is over I’ll visit a junkyard to pick up some headlights and taillights. Maybe replace the passenger side doors if they have a silver one.

Illustration for article titled Washlopnik Odyssey: A Rough Volvo and a Stalwart Toyota
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Illustration for article titled Washlopnik Odyssey: A Rough Volvo and a Stalwart Toyota

Much much better. Silver doesn’t really show the results as well as the green Tundra to come, but the car cleaned up nicely. The tar spots were hard to get off with the limited tools I had access to. I also had trouble with the wipers falling off the arms.

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Now for the main event: one 2002 Toyota Tundra TRD Limited guest starring V8 and 4WD!

Illustration for article titled Washlopnik Odyssey: A Rough Volvo and a Stalwart Toyota
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Illustration for article titled Washlopnik Odyssey: A Rough Volvo and a Stalwart Toyota

This beautiful green example was in a sorry state. Clouded headlights, faded plastics. Just look at this. Svend, avert your eyes.

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Illustration for article titled Washlopnik Odyssey: A Rough Volvo and a Stalwart Toyota

Ouch. That is really really bad. So bad I wonder I didn’t drop everything to save the day sooner.

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Illustration for article titled Washlopnik Odyssey: A Rough Volvo and a Stalwart Toyota

The first thing I did was defog the headlights with the aforementioned toothpaste. These headlights respond well to a quick and dirty shine. Sadly I had neither the tools nor the time to address the engine bay.

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Illustration for article titled Washlopnik Odyssey: A Rough Volvo and a Stalwart Toyota

That is a massive difference.

Illustration for article titled Washlopnik Odyssey: A Rough Volvo and a Stalwart Toyota
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Illustration for article titled Washlopnik Odyssey: A Rough Volvo and a Stalwart Toyota

Wow. I can finally appreciate that color. Just a breathtakingly classy ride.

Illustration for article titled Washlopnik Odyssey: A Rough Volvo and a Stalwart Toyota
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I didn’t have time to do paint correction. I may try that tomorrow.

I have a hypothesis that these are future classics. They are great fun to drive. The V8s are powerful and durable. And these last forever if you keep them away from salt.

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Illustration for article titled Washlopnik Odyssey: A Rough Volvo and a Stalwart Toyota

Meanwhile: 30 minutes later. POLLEN!

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