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Over the summer I made a series of posts about drama with my teenage daughter:


In a nutshell, drama between daughter’s boyfriend and my ex-wife led the daughter to do some stupid things. That never stopped. While I would love to say that the daughter came to her senses and dropped the idiot boyfriend like a rock, that wouldn’t be true.


This past Sunday I got an unexpected phone call from her. She opened it weirdly, “Hi dad, you know that tattoo you have with stars for each of us kids and stuff? You’re going to have to add another star in August.”

So, yeah. I have a tattoo on my left arm, that runs up to my shoulder. On my shoulder are three large stars, one for each of my daughters. Next to the star for my oldest are two small stars, representing my grandkids. There’s enough room there for more, but when I spoke with all three of them at Christmas the verdict was that I wouldn’t have to add any more any time soon. So to say that I was shocked by the phone call is an understatement. She had been on the birth control shots for a long while, and the understanding with my ex-wife was that she wasn’t taking chances with it and was making sure the kid went in to get them. Yeah, I was off guard on this one. I thought other people were doing what they said they would do.


I chose the high road, and didn’t go off on her. I figure that she and her mother have had a lot of conversation about this before she called me, so nothing I could say in that moment would matter to her. Or as my father reminded us recently, “if you don’t have something nice to say it’s better to say nothing.”

I found out from the ex that our lovely soon-to-be 18 daughter skipped her injection appointment. This strikes me then as a deliberate choice on the part of that girl who then had sex with a 20 year old boy who still hasn’t graduated high school.


She had been planning on going to college and becoming a doctor after she finishes high school this spring. With a due date in August she won’t be heading off to school in the fall. My daughter is a planner. She makes pie-in-the-sky plans for everything and romanticizes about how wonderful things will be once she’s out on her own. At Christmas she was telling the family that she wanted Kitchen stuff for her birthday and graduation to help set up her apartment in the fall. At the moment I’m not sure what her plan is, but I’m sure it includes all of the wonderful life things she had been planning, but now with an extra helping of baby. That’s not realistic at all, but I’m sure it’s in her plan.

I have five child support payments left. Just five. When they’re done the money from dad is cut off. I’m deeply considering cutting off my health insurance for her at the same time. We warned her what the consequences of her actions could be. She chose to continue on a reckless path anyway. I’ll be damned if I can support that. I will continue to love my daughter, but I’m not volunteering to raise her kid, especially with idiot boy as the father.

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