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But now we don’t, at least not as hard as actual Americans do, because we realized that we fought harder to break the Spanish shackle than when ‘Mericans sat on our seats while the Japanese tried taking it (they nearly did!), largely because, relatively speaking, ‘Mericans were kind to us (they quashed us early on after Spain sold us for 20 quid, but hey, they shot first!). The father of our dearly-beloved ex-prez Glorious said when he did the switch to June 12:

July 4 seemed tantamount to the celebration of Philippine subjection to and dependence on the United States which served to perpetuate unpleasant memories, President Macapagal wrote, years later. I felt, too, that July 4 was not inspiring enough for the Filipino youth since it recalled mostly the peaceful independence missions to the United States. The celebration of independence day on June 12, on the other hand, would be a greater inspiration to the youth.

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You know why he thought June 12 would give more inspiration to The Youths than July 4? Because the events that transpired until that point in time was a more wicked-sick point in time. It was a time when the heavens aligned and our fore-fathers got enough men to finally make a revolution work, starting with eight places and expanding through Visayas (don’t worry about Minadanao, they can take care of themselves and they always have been), a revolution one hero didn’t want but another badly needed, and finally made Spain say “Ah, fuck this life here”. But of course Spain screwed us over one last time. Then the Americans got a bit frazzled on how to deal with our beloved godforsaken country. When they finally got their shit together, the war came, General MacArthur turned out to be the T-800 (because he came back) and finally the Americans said “Well, Juan, you’re on your own now. Do what you want, just don’t go the way of the shitter”.

Now, 4th of July is merely “Filipino-American Friendship Day”, which sounds like some euphemism, really. “Republic Day” sounds better. But to us FilipinOpponauts, and from us to all American Opponauts, Happy 4th of July, whatever it’s called here.

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<originally posted on July 3, 2015>